We get happy and sad all at the same time today, folks

Friends, I feel like I need to show you something before we get down to business

Remember this picture and how I talked about Hubby and I keeping stuffed "animals" on the bed?

Since then he has informed me that the stuffed Jack is no longer allowed on the bed

It was loosing it's form

Which means there's really hardly any difference

But to him it's huge

And he loves his Jack stuff

Plus it's from me, which in his mind makes it even more special

So it sits on the little table next to his side of the bed until we get a shelf or something it can sit on

I happen to love that Hubby of mine

He's pretty cute

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Our lives the last couple of weeks have been a little more hectic than normal

The Hubster has been on call at work

Which pretty just means we have to always be at home

And if we aren't home and he gets called (which fortunately has never happened) we have to book it home pronto

And he's been on call for what feels like ages

He was on call for a week or two, and finally got off, and then due to stupid scheduling conflicts at work he's on call again for two more weeks

Rude

Last weekend I was sick with a migraine on the couch all weekend

This weekend Hubby had to work and HE is miserable with a horribly bad headache

So yeah, we're doing life really well lately

But next week things are going to change

We've gotten into the bad habit of staying up late, partly because of his work

So I told him that was changing next week, as much as possible anyway

We can't do much about his work keeping us up

****

When I was home in Utah I went and visited one of my favorite book stores and stalked up on books since said bookstore doesn't exist in Iowa

I do this thing where I think I have more room than I do and I think I'm going to read 6 books in a 2 hour flight and for some reason I think I'm going to love carrying two different large carry-on bags on a plane

Part of the problem is just I really just always have way too much stuff cause what if for some reason I need 4 extra shirts

Or what if for some reason I need lots of different shirt options

Or what if for some reasons I....I don't know, insert crazy answer here

Problem is, because of all of this, I stuff my carry-on bags way too full and all of the sudden my flight becomes cumbersome and obnoxious because I'm lugging heavy, annoying things everywhere

Normally it's not a big deal because I travel with hubby and he helps me lug all of my stuff around like the awesome husband that he is

But the last two times I have flown I've been solo, which has made it EXTREMELY only slightly more annoying

Anyway, point of the matter is my eyes are always way too big and I thought I had more space than I did, or that the books would take up less space than they actually did

One of the two

So Mama Smurf suggested that I keep some of the books there and she would send them to me

don't we love how smart and awesome moms are?

Anyway, I ended up leaving 4 books behind, which ended making a huge difference in the space that I had

She mailed them through the post office shortly after I left and they said it would probably take a couple of weeks

So I waited and waited and waited

And waited some more

And started to get really anxious because I didn't exactly remember the books that I had left behind, and that would mean I wouldn't be able to remember which ones to repurchase

And that bugged the OCness in me

I began wishing I had taken pictures of the books before I left, and was honestly really surprised that I didn't because I'm a little overcautious like that the majority of the time

Mama Smurf went to the post office to get it checked out, they tracked it for her, and it hadn't updated in tracking since it said it had left that post office

Which was weird to all of us

The guy at her post office thought it might be at my post office and they just hadn't updated it yet

So I called them, and no they didn't have it and they had no idea where it was

She got insurance on it, but we had to wait until the package was way past due in order to claim it

And that required me remembering which books I had left there because I didn't keep my receipts from the book store (another shocker...I always keep receipts until I'm triply sure I won't need them or the time we had to return the item has expired)

So I did my best, found the statements on my bank account and sent her all of the information

Monday came and she was going to go to "war" with the post office (as she put it, I think...it's been awhile now)

This was about a week-a week and a half after I was supposed to have received the package, so we both counted it as a loss and figured I wouldn't be getting it

I went outside to check the mail that day and noticed something on the porch

What do you know, it was my package!!

The box was pretty beat up and a little worse for the wear, as were a couple of the books inside, but I was so happy I actually got it it didn't really bother me (too much)

I called Mama Smurf right away and told her what I had just found on my front porch

And she just about died from laughter and shock

And relief cause she didn't have to deal with the post office anymore

See, here is one of the boxes

Very bent and faded

Not how they normally look

And the book

Not horrible, but still

(oh, and by the way, I was only right on one of the 3 books...the others I left behind were books that I had brought from Iowa to Utah in case I had time to read...which didn't happen, but that explains why I couldn't remember what the other books were that I had purchased but didn't have...at least I'm not TOO delusional)

****

Are you guys ready for another Oreo review? :D

Oreo numero uno

So, as discussed with previous "sour" flavored Oreos, I am not a fan of sour

But, I did like these more than the lemon, because they were sweeter

A little too sweet, maybe, and definitely not my favorite ever, but they were decent

Definitely a good choice that they picked the vanilla cookie for this

Oreo usually doesn't disappoint, only once (I'm looking at you, cookie dough), maybe twice, and I wouldn't say they "disappointed" with this, it's just not my favorite

But still, it had a pretty good flavor

I give it a 6/10

And numero dos

Now this one, my friends, I was WAY excited for!!

This is the marriage of two of my favorite things in the whole world

And they did not disappoint

I am in love

I love that they used the chocolate cookie

And I think they did a very good job at executing the flavor

I read an article saying that the two companies worked very close together because they knew this would be a huge deal and didn't want to disappoint

And disappoint they did not

Especially dipped in milk!! (Thanks Kris, for that idea)

Seriously, love them

And now I'm wanting them

Lots of them

This is definitely one I could eat a lot of (which is not a good thing...)

Anyway, I'm in love

This one most definitely gets a 10/10

There is another one out, Root Beer Float, but I haven't been able to find those yet, so I can't talk about those

Hopefully they'll show up soon....

****

So this week has been a crummy week in this house

A few nights ago I started getting this really weird pain in my chest and I started to feel awful, so I told Hubby we needed to go to bed pronto

So we did, and I slept horribly

Woke up with a terrible migraine and a HORRIBLE pain in my chest...like it was in my esophagus

I couldn't drink without pain, couldn't eat without pain, couldn't really swallow without pain, couldn't breath/cough without pain

In other words, anything that had to do with my mouth caused me pain

I had a horrible fever, and I just did not feel well at all

Hubby texted in and asked if he could work from home so he could take care of me and they said that would be fine

So he took awesome care of me and tended to my every need

We eventually went to the instacare that they have here and the doctor, while very nice, wasn't really listening to me when i was giving the pain symptoms, he just heard sore throat and tested me for strep

I didn't have strep, got told I had a virus and there was nothing they could do for me (since it was a virus), and sent me home

That didn't really sit well with me, but there wasn't much I could really do

That night was awful as well, but not QUITE as bad as the night before, and I woke up with an AWFUL migraine

Hubby was planning on going to work that day, but as he was getting ready I started dry heaving (since I didn't have anything in my stomach since I couldn't eat) and a bunch of blood came up

That was not a good sign in my book...I don't remember having ever thrown up blood before

So I texted Mama Smurf, she suggested I call the doctor's office back and see what they wanted me to do

After I was treated like a moron by the person on the phone, they told me I might as well come in and get reevaluated (how much blood? I can't tell you what's wrong without looking at it. It could still be viral, you know. There are plenty things that can cause a person to throw up blood)

But here's the thing lady, I know my body better than you, and this isn't normal

I've had lots of experience throwing up and never has it included blood

So, we went down right away, first thing that morning (cause Hubby worked from home again cause he's awesome and his work is super nice)

We were seen by a different doctor

I told her what happened yesterday with the other doctor, told her where the pain was, and she rolled her eyes and said something to the effect of obviously it's not strep, strep would not be that low and this sounds like it's in your esophagus. I don't know why he tested you for strep...

I told her that I've had a hard time swallowing food for awhile, and I easily choke on it

And that my doctor in Utah thought it might be something to do with heartburn type issues

She agreed with me and wanted to run a bunch of tests to see what was going on

I've had mono before, so she wanted to rule that out as well, just as precaution, and I honestly don't know what else they tested for

I didn't really care, I just wanted to know what was wrong

I had to get my blood drawn (I hate needles, but this phlebotomist was awesome and got in on the first try...and that's even with me super dehydrated) and give a urine test (they had something called a "clean" urine test...never done that before)

And then comes the horrific part

They sent me back to get what I thought would be a scope

Turns out they just wanted to x-ray my stomach to see if they could see any blockages or lumps or anything like that

That in and of itself wouldn't be so horrific, but they made me drink this barium thing (thanks Peach for helping me remember that word), which is awful. It's chalky and thick and just nasty

And then I had to drink something that was similar to Pepto Bismal to give more air down below

Well, that plus the barium junk didn't go over well

I don't think my throat loved acidity of the pepto-like stuff, since it's ridiculously sensitive right now

And I had to throw up again

The little nurse lady was nice and gave me something to throw up in and held back my hair and then gave me a wet washcloth to wipe my face...but it was awful

Needless to say, I didn't have to swallow that again, but they did make me do more of the barium

No blockage, no lumps, no tumor, none of that...which is good

Although a blockage would definitely have been the easiest thing to cure I'm sure

So we went back to the waiting room, waited for the doctor to look at the x-rays, and we got called back

Turns out what I have is esophagitis

Inflammation of the esophagus

Not in the worst stages yet, but if left untreated it could turn cancerous

(but, honestly, I might end up in the hospital from dehydration first)

So basically it's a good thing I went back when I did and I'm glad we saw a different doctor who actually listened

Although really with the pain I have I don't know why anyone would not want to treat this...it's awful

So she set me up an appointment with a surgeon next week to get a real scope done, and to see if he needs to get anything for a biopsy

And then we'll go from there

She did give me some medication, one to coat the esophagus and one to help keep acid down, and said they would help with the pain immensely

I haven't noticed a difference yet, but it's just barely been 24 hours so I'm still hoping....

Luckily the fever seems to have at least calmed down a little

Although, ironically my throat is sore now

But I think that's partially due to the throwing up yesterday

My ears are starting to hurt, but I slept very well last night so I haven't had too much of a headache today

I also haven't had too much to eat cause I've noticed it doesn't like extremes..super hot, or really cold

Which is too bad because the really cold items (smoothies, ice cream, ice, slush, water...) sound soooo good to me right now.....

So we're trying to figure out things I can manage to get down

So far cream of wheat is a decent choice

Little snack puddings seem to be okay

We're going to try scrambled eggs tonight

And Hubby got some chicken noodle soup at the store tonight

I typically prefer tomato, but that's more acidic and not as good cool as the chicken can be

Oh, and yogurt

I'm going to try jello, just cause it's smooth going down

And he got some apple juice too, since Sprite (to help calm my stomach) is a definite no (any soda really)

I tried a small sip last night and regretted it forever after that

I have a bunch of Gatorade to help try and keep me hydrated

It's just annoying to drink and eat because I have to only take tiny sips/bites and wait for a good amount of time afterwards before I can go again

If I go too fast I put myself in a lot of pain for too long

Tylenol and Advil seemed to have helped make the pain tolerable (probably because Advil is an anti inflammatory), but I don't want to take it on an empty stomach, so I'm trying not to rely on it...I haven't had any today and I can tell

Hubby went back to work today, since I'm going to need him to come with me when I get the scope because I'm pretty sure they put you out for that (at least they did the last time I had one done...)

And then I have a follow up with a different doctor the next day

So yeah, lots of visits to the doctor's office (which he hates cause he has a negative history with doctors cause of all of his health problems)

But if this can get resolved, and if I can stop choking on food and eat and drink normally again, I will do whatever it takes

I just need the pain to go away sooner rather than later

My head doesn't tolerate lack of food very well, so it'll be interesting to see how long I can go with this before I have consistently major headaches

It's crazy to think that just a week ago I was eating and drinking without a care in the world

And now here I am, feeling like I'm wasting away

I was diagnosed with gastroparesis in my senior year of high school (my stomach couldn't digest fibers, meats, or a whole lot of dairy...), the medicine they gave me didn't help so I had to let it "run it's course", which led to throwing up a lot over the next several years until it finally went away. I still have to be careful to not eat a HUGE amount all at once, and occasionally I still throw up a little, but not nearly to the extreme as before

So I'm wondering if this is, at least in part, repercussions from that

That can't have been easy on my esophagus

Anywho, that's an update on our lives

Hubby is off now for the weekend, so it'll be nice to have my caregiver back

And I'll just sit on my new place of residence (the couch) before we move into the bedroom for the evening and pray that I get LOTS of sleep tonight since Hubby's alarm won't wake me up at 5:30 tomorrow

I'll let you know what we find out next week

If you don't mind keeping me in your prayers/thoughts, that would be wonderful

I'm not doing too hot and I need all of the help I can get

(this is also why I've been a little vacant...and that might continue for awhile....)

****

Once last thing and then I'll be done

 I don't usually talk publicly on the passing of celebrities, but Robin Williams was a little special

I will miss him, I grew up watching his movies, especially Aladdin and Flubber...I love Mrs. Doubtfire and Bicentennial Man and Patch Adams...he was an amazing person with an amazing gift for touching people's hearts and lives

My heart hurts right now for his family and loved ones and what they are going through

And I hope that he can find the peace that he has not been able to find

Hubby went through a severe depression phase before (his health was getting bad, he had just had to have spinal fusion surgery, leaving him incapable of doing anything, and his parents were getting divorced) and seriously contemplated suicide

He had the gun out, his family was gone, and he was going to go through with it

Fortunately (especially for me) something stopped him and he didn't actually do it

He decided he didn't want to live like that anymore and chose to look for the positive and be happy rather than dwell on all of the awful things that were going wrong in his life

Every time I hear of someone committing suicide, my heart breaks for them and their loved ones, yes, but I can't help but feel an extreme gratitude that he never actually went through with it and that I am able to have him in my life

****

And now I'm going to attempt to eat some chicken noodle soup

Wish me luck

(I find it ironic that earlier in the post [which I had written before I started getting sick] we were going to get lots of sleep, and not keep our bad schedules anymore....and then the sickness happens...life is really good at throwing curve balls, isn't it)

(I'm really going now, bye!)