Monday, August 27, 2012

Fishy business

Once upon a time my cousin (aka primo) came into the store to bring us some more fish

(we sell fish here...we like to sell random stuff like keeps our customers on their toes)

He got out the net from under the tank, put the fish in, and as he was putting it back pointed something out to me

Can't see what I'm talking about?

That right there is a decomposing goldfish


I'm sure it's been there for months, and no one had seen it until Primo pointed it out

And you know what?

He didn't even get rid of it

He just left it there, so it could hang out with all of its plug and hose friends

Rude, right?


Once upon another time, I was super ornery this past Wednesday

More ornery than I've been in awhile

I'm not sure why, but I was

But Fiance was patient and loving, as always

The next day he dropped me off his car and walked home so I could take it to work (which has been the norm, as of late)

And when I got in his car I had a pleasant surprise

He is so good to me

Especially since he doesn't like writing things by hand

Considering the fact that he also gets rid of all of the creatures that I don't approve of, I'm glad he's the Fiance type and not the cousin/primo type

Speaking of which...

I should have him give the fish a proper burial...

And by that I mean maybe I'll have him sneak the fish down to primo's office and stick on his chair

I'm liking this idea...

Monday, August 20, 2012


I swear I've kept Kleenex in business this last week

My body has decided that it's been too long since Mr. Cold visited

So it threw it a big old party and welcomed it in with open arms

I think I we need to have a chat, my body and I

We're going to have issues if it keeps making friends with the enemies


I don't have the best veins in the world

In the past whenever I've had to get my blood drawn, they've always had to go digging

Which led to a great dislike for needles

But the last few times my blood has been taken from me, the little blood stealing person has been nice enough to find it on the first try

Well, I had to go to a different doctor last week and sent me to their lab to get my blood drawn for a test they wanted to run

When I sat down the girl hinted at being new, which made me really nervous, because I have never had a good experience with a new person

I think my veins also heard her, which caused them to sink as deep as they could to hide

She was nice, and she tried hard to be careful because I had told her about previous bad experiences I had had

During her first attempt, she couldn't find the vein with the needle, so she called over this guy who apparently had been doing it a lot longer and asked him for help

He tried, and couldn't find it, and told her she needed to tighten the tourniquet a little bit more

I joked with her and told her that apparently she needed to make sure I didn't have an arm left over when she was done

That's how tight he had her make it

I have never had a tourniquet that tight

And people have had better luck than they did with drawing my blood

Afterwards she tried my hand (because sometimes people have better success with my hands...which is ironic because I don't have amazing blood circulation in my hands)

And he came over again and tried to find the vein

And then he sent her far away into the desolate parts of the office where they send the people who aren't as good as them and are viewed as beneath them

At least that's how I felt like he treated her

He came over and proceeded to cut off all blood flow to my body

I guess I didn't need my arms and hands anyway....

He then proceeded to tell me how it was all of MY fault for not drinking enough water

Excuse me?

You must not be around me ever day

You must not be one of the people that has to cover the register for me every time I have to go to the bathroom

Because if you were, you would realize that I drink a lot of water

Don't blame my bad veins/your incompetence on my supposedly not drinking enough water

Especially when I had already mentioned that I drink a lot of water


Especially when you don't even know me

So today I went to my regular doctor to get my blood drawn for a different test

(I think I'm not going to have any blood by the time this is done...anyone want to give me a blood transfusion?)

And what do you know, it took him one poke and a tiny bit of maneuvering until he found my vein

It's amazing what a little bit of competency will do to a person

I know that everyone has to learn, and they all have to start somewhere...I just think they should start/learn with people who have nice veins that aren't hard to find

Either that or people who don't have a deep hatred for needles


Have any of you ever had the opportunity to use the Bing translation on facebook?

I have a lot of friends who aren't from the US, and while I speak the same languages that the majority of them speak, there are a few of them I don't quite understand all of the way

Like French

I can understand some of it because I speak Spanish and some Portuguese, just not all of it

So the first time I noticed that Bing translation option, I clicked on it because I was curious how accurate it would be

And it wasn't so much

So now whenever I see it I click on it just because it makes me laugh

So the other day one of my friends posted something in French and I clicked to have it translated because I wanted to fill in the blanks of what I didn't know

And what I found had me cracking up

I find the "exas drunk me so much" and "screw up his vacation...and be disgusted" the most hilarious

And then, the other day I went to Wallie World really fast and found this:

It's amazing how one tiny little apostrophe can change the tone of the whole sentence

They were sorry for any inconvenience, but they're not any more

They decided we don't deserve their apologies, we just have to deal with what we're given

And as I was emailing this photo to myself, I noticed the incorrect spelling of inconvenience

Whoever wrote this must have been having a bad day

And then yesterday I was on pinterest trying to get ideas for the reception and saw this

There must be a serious epidemic going around of not knowing how to use apostrophes

They were engaged, just not anymore

Makes me wonder what happened

So sad to see a relationship end like that

Alright, I'm off to pick up Fiance so we can do some more preparations for the wedding

Tonight were going through his pictures

But maybe not anymore 

Well have to see if the apostrophe decides to show up or is going to leave us stranded

Monday, August 6, 2012

The title-less post

I kind of don't feel like I can compete with any posts after my last post made Fiance and I official

I've kind of been avoiding my blog since then

(well, truthfully, there are a few reasons I've been avoiding it...but that doesn't really matter)

I just feel like that's the most important thing I could ever say

Until I get married, anyway

See, if we were to take a vote as to the importance of me getting engaged

And me wanting to talk about how much I love walking down the laundry detergent isle because of the smell...

I'm pretty sure the engagement would win out :)

There's also the fact that every time I get an idea to blog about something, I think I should write it down

But then I don't because I think I have the same stellar memory like I used to

And pretty much I always forget

Unless I have a picture taken of it or something

You would think I would have learned by now

Maybe it just means that I'm optimistic

And have hope in humanity

The humanity that is Amanda, anyway

Not that I don't have hope in the human race also

Cause I do

I mean, Christian Bale going and visiting the victims from the shooting in Colorado in the hospital? Now that's  pretty cool

I think that's just sign of humanity we needed after the horrible shooting

Now, if someone were to come along and donate $3,000 to help fund my wedding?

Then there could never be any doubt at all in my mind about humanity and the wonderfulness of it

Seriously, with all of the ridiculously rich people out there, $3,000 is pocket change

So, if any of you know anyone wanting to donate some money to a very worthy close (and by close I totally mean cause...I was typing close in another spot, and that of course means it had to be written here too so the blog didn't feel left out) (that was a very long train of thought, wasn't it? hopefully you still remember what was at the beginning of the train of thought...), send them my way, would you?

Is is sad that I just made my 11 yr old niece step on and kill a spider because...well, I don't like spiders?

Yeah, I thought so too

So, Fiance (it's sooooo weird to type that word....) has this obsession whenever he sees my ring to turn the band so the diamond is right in the center and pushing it as far in as it will go

And yet, I like turning it slightly to the right so that during the day the diamond is actually facing me so that I can look at it

And when my hand hasn't been outside in this ridiculous heat and isn't swollen, the ring is just slightly too big

Not enough that it doesn't stay on my finger, mind you

Just enough that when my hand is resting down it slides forward just a little

And when I raise it, it slides back a little

So I've given up in trying to get it to stay in one spot

Except for the diamond

Anyway, it's now become a little bit of a joke with me

Fiance doesn't know about it, which makes it even more fun

As soon as he looks away after centering the diamond, I always move it back to where I like it

I even told him once it was pointless because the ring was going to keep moving no matter what

But that boy is pretty stubborn

Maybe even more so than I am, if that's possible

So I took some pictures of my ring on my sister's camera and I took out the memory card to insert it into my laptop only to find out it didn't fit

So I went and got her cord and after the first plug in it didn't read it

So I unplugged it and tried again

It read it, but said there were no pictures on it

It took me about 6 attempts of doing that to realize that I forgot to put the memory card back into the camera

Because apparently it can't just read it through osmosis


It's just been one of those days

One more rambling and then I'll leave you be

Papa Smurf is a little bit obsessed with peanuts

He loves the things

So, many many moons ago he decided it would be fun if we offered peanuts to our customers that they could just eat

So we found a big cauldron and there the peanuts have resided and probably will reside the rest of their days

People grab handfuls and snack on it as they wander throughout the store and outside

And because of that piles of peanut shells are always found in the most random of places

So the other day I was walking through the gift rooms that we have where we also sell decorative pots that people can plant flowers and stuff and happened to look in one of them and saw this

(just pretend you see a BUNCH of garbage in that pot...apparently I didn't take a picture before I dumped it out)

Which made me wonder if it was like that in other pots

So I went on a hunt

It was definitely an entertaining and humorous search

Probably the funniest part though was the fact that I didn't empty them as I was taking pictures, so I had go back and remember where I had found all of the peanut shells and other garbage

I think it took walking through a few times to remember where all the piles were

I made signs asking people to not use the decorative pots as garbage cans

We'll see how well they succeed

So seeing as how this post has taken me a week to finish, I'm just going to go push the publish button now so it doesn't take another week

Over and out