Thursday, July 28, 2011

2 legs are enough for me...

I had a very very traumatizing night last night

I think it tops the list of traumatizing nights

It kind of tied in with the long day I had though...

Boyfriend and I went to Ikea to get me a new bed frame to fit the queen mattresses Mama Smurf bequeathed me (only she hasn't died so it wasn't in her will...although that makes me wonder what will be in her will...)

It was supposed to be an easy process...but there ended up being BIG GINORMOUS BOULDERS that we had to climb over in order to get to the easy part

(the BIG GINORMOUS BOULDERS will be affectionately known from this point on as BGB)

BGB #1: Driving to my sister's house to get a check from her only to find out she was at work...not at home. Silly me, I should have known

Drive to work, find said sister, open my mouth to talk only to be interrupted by a customer

Wait till she's done only to find out her checkbook was at my brother's house...

BGB b. Remember my car that I sold? It used to be the family truck that I would use to transport big stuff...

Boyfriend's car doesn't even come close to comparing

Ask Mama Smurf if we can take her car, but she had to be somewhere at 1:00

Come back to Peach's office to see if we can use her car, only to find out Peach isn't in her office

Walk back up to the store to find her there, hiding from me (not really, but it sounds better) in another sister's office

She requests that I ask if I can take the truck first

Go find my brother, he tells me I can as long as I'm sure it will fit in the truck

Go use other brother's computer to look up dimensions of the box 

Find out it can fit in the truck, take Boyfriend's car back to the office where the truck is, get the key and we're off

(you might think the difficulties end here....don't let your optimism mislead you) 

BGB numero 3 - Get to Ikea and can't find a cart anywhere 

(Boyfriend has a hard time walking around for a long period of time without having something to lean on...hence the importance of the cart)

Look, look, cart

Take off anyway because we were in a bit of a hurry

BGB letter D:

Find the frame, love the frame, write down the numbers, carry on our merry way (I was trying to hurry, because as much as Boyfriend says he doesn't care and he's fine, I try to take care of him)

Keep walking, walk past the section of slated bed bases and skid to a stop

Tell Boyfriend I think I need one of those

Walk back to the frames to be sure, find out I do, and make our way back to write down the number of the thing

BGB number 5 =

Get down to the bottom, find the carts, get me a couple of pillows (mine hurt me), and head off to the section where you find the stuff

Load it all up on to the cart, make our way to the checkout stand only to realize (Boyfriend chose this moment to say he had already realized...whatever) that the boxes won't fit through

Have it slide off the cart about 20 times (that may or may not be an exaggeration) before we finally get it all re-situated and ready to go 

BGB f - 

Walk up to the scanner (which is probably my favorite part of Ikea) only to have it not want to scan one of the boxes

A dude came over, helped out, and I greedily thankfully took back the hand scanner thingy

Only to have another box not scan because some plastic wrap whatever was covering the bar code...

Cue Mr. Dude again, who just finished scanning the rest of it

(I'm glad he couldn't see me glaring at him behind his back...)

The rest of the trip went without incident until we were unloading it from the back of the truck (which would be BGB 7) where one of the boxes snagged on some screws and I had to get up and lift it up while Boyfriend dragged it out

By that point I was so tired of the day that I just put them in the garage and there they sit today

The rest of the day passed without incident...

Boyfriend played a game while I downloaded new Photoshop brushes (which is my new favorite thing to do)

And then the evening came

Things always happen when Boyfriend leaves to go home

Like finding spiders and such

You see, me and spiders? We're not friends

I'm kinda like Ron Weasely from Harry Potter in that aspect

Although I like to think I stay a little more calm about it than he does...

But then again, I've never come across spiders as big as he I guess I wouldn't know...

Last night, unfortunately, was no different

I was getting ready for bed and was fixing the blankets on my bed when I accidentally lifted a corner of the bottom one only to find a spider on my mattress

After the squealing session, I went and got some TP to nab evaded the nabbing on the first try, but I prevailed

Only problem was, I couldn't go to bed after that

I decided to wait a few minutes and give the spiders some time to clear out

I was out looking for some more brushes when I noticed a little bulge under my shirt on my stomach

I looked to see what it was, expecting to see crumbs or something

But no

Something much much worse

(this is the traumatizing part of the story)

There was a spider there

That I had unknowingly squished and killed

On my stomach

Just chilling like it belonged there

Suffice it to say, there was a little bit of a freak out session

I even almost showered

And I would have if I didn't have a fresh layer of lotion on my legs

I did take everything off and throw it in the dirty clothes 

I then proceeded to check every inch of my body to make sure he didn't have any friends hanging out

It took me probably 20 minutes to calm down enough that I convinced myself to go to bed

But that's not without shaking my blankets about 5 times...

And praying really hard that I could remain spider free for the evening

And every evening after that

*shudder* It still grosses me out

I'll tell you one thing, it makes me want to go set up my bed frame now so that I can get out of the room where my mattresses are and spray every inch of every room so that I don't have any more spiders...


And if you have made it to the end of this post, I will be incredibly impressed

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go kill every 8-legged creature in site...

Oh, and the easy part after the BGB annoyances? Closing the garage door...


Dazee Dreamer said...

oh wow, you had me giggling during your whole post. and yuk, icky spider on your stomach. I shudder.

Yeah, I'm with you, get that bedframe up.

We bought a bedframe from IKea for our guest room but then the good weather happened and my hubby hasn't put it together yet. good thing we never have guests. :)

Venassa said...

Nothing freaks me out more than finding a spider in my bed. They're bad enough on the wall or floor.. but in my bed? Creeps me out for a long time. I physically just shuddered thinking about it. Finding it on my body probably ranks about the same as finding it in my bed. Way too creepy. But I'm glad you got through the day despite everything trying to get in your way. It sounds like the whole experience was a ton more work than it should've had to be.

Heidi Perez said...

Wow that was an adventure. And that is crazy about the spider UNDER your shirt. I got the heebie geebies several times as I read to the end. And while writing this. I think I can picture you freaking out. And I know I'd be doing the same. :)

Laura Darling said...

You are one determined girl. I would have given up after the second BGB!!!

Powdered Toast Man said...

Idk if we could be friends in real life. I have a spider tattoo on my forearm. It only bites sometimes.

Jolyn Lloyd Matthews said...

Hubby and I read the whole thing. It may be awhile before we go to bed now. And you had that spider debacle AFTER all those BGB's? Go munch on your favorite comfort food asap!

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great! said...

And after all that, you end up with a squished spider on your belly?! So

PS I am so flattered and impressed that - despite your busy life - you went back and read all those dang posts that decided to flood your feed. Geeze. Thanks so much! You're awesome.


The Broderick Family Blog said...

Maybe people DO eat 8 spiders in their sleep? :)
Sorry to hear about all of the spider trauma. I remember a time on a Saturday evening after working all day at the nursery. I was pulling of my shoes and socks from my sore feet only to find a dead, smashed spider on top of my bare foot. It bit me at some point during the day and a nice red welt was forming.
I remember another time walking outside in my backyard. My mom was asking me through the window to check the garden for produce.
I turned back around to head toward the garden only to be confronted by an orange, very large, crab-like spider. It was about 2 inches from my face. I fell back and ran inside to grab a ball glass jar. The spider became my new pet for a week. It later spun a web pillow in the jar, laid eggs and died.

Julie said...

Spiders I could help you with if you kill the grasshoppers, snakes and them darn bats (yes I know we need them but I can still hate them).
All that for a nice place to rest your head. I hope it's comfey and everything.
Take care and have a blessed night sleep.

Julie said...

Is there a baby yet? Do we have a little Emily? How's your sister? Hubby? I know it's about to happen and I am praying for the best and figured I'd see if you knew anything.
Take care and have a blessed evening.

Pat Tillett said...

I'm sorry that I'm laughing at your misfortune! I know it was an ordeal for you, but it was so funny!