Friday, January 14, 2011

Little black rain cloud

I am just sitting here drinking some Alka-Seltzer Plus, waiting for it to click in a little so that maybe when I go to bed I can actually breathe normally and I've come to a decision...

Well, a couple of them actually...first one being that it's cold, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to go get a sweatshirt

Okay, anyway, back to my decision...I've decided that I am no longer a cold girl

You know, the kind that attacks you and makes it hard to breathe? Yeah, I'm not that type of girl anymore

I've decided that I don't like the fact that everything that I eat/drink tastes disgusting and makes me not want to eat anything ever again

I don't like not being able to smell, and when I can smell all I can smell is cold

Example #1: The other at work I was trying to smell a flower that was pretty and blooming, and I couldn't smell it because my nose has stopped working

Exhibit B: As Boyfriend was leaving he asked me if it smelt funny outside...I tried to smell, because that's what my instinct would have me do. But my cold tricked me and made it so I  couldn't answer Boyfriend.

I don't like it that when I lay down at night to go to sleep, my nose all of the sudden plugs up. But when I stand up it's completely clear. Nope, not cool. 

So, Chief Cold Man Wherever You Are, you are no longer welcome at my house. When you come and knock at the door, there will be no one home. And if we are...well we won't answer to you

I will no longer be accepting dinner invitations, party invitations, swimming invitations, or anything else you will be sending my way

So next time you think of visiting, just don't. Do us all a favor and don't go through the effort, because it will not do you any good

I don't like the fact that you make me sound like a man, and that my voice cracks, and that I have to blow my nose every 3 seconds

I don't like the fact that you cloud my head so that I have infinitely many more blonde moments than I normally do

So, with that, I bid you farewell. May you never appear on my doorstep unwanted ever again

I know I shall not miss you. You, of course, will miss me. It's in your nature, you can't help it. Plus, I am such a fun girl that you would have to miss me's unhelpable (yep, it's a word, I said)

I've heard there are meetings you can go to for these kind of addictions, so good luck with that

Farewell evil cold, may I never see your ugly face again

Now I just need this letter to work and to not have a cold when I wake up in the morning...I'll let you know how that goes



Venassa said...

Hope he leaves you alone! I haven't had one in awhile *knocks on wood* and I really don't want one.

Julie said...

Did it work? If it does, you better patten your letter fast because I'm going to steal it the next time he visits here. He comes about once every third year and stays for 10-12 days, it's not invited mind you, just comes.
Get better baby sister. You need to smell those flowers. Me just mores snow and cold.
Take care and have a blessed weekend.

Dazee Dreamer said...

I think mr. cold man and mother nature need to get together and have a date. then maybe things would warm up. :)

Kaleena J. said...

you should try Theraflu! Works very good.

feel better!

Anonymous said...

Did it work?? Lots of hot water- that had better be your best friend for a while. Kill the pepsi temporarily.

Jessica said...

Ugh, I just came down with one too. Wanna have a sick day? We can sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV.

jayayceeblog said...

Let's launch Chief Cold Man into outer space where he may remain forever in all his snotty glory. The last cold I had - right before Christmas - had me walking around the house with wads of tissue just hanging out of my nose (which is so attractive) and trying to sleep sitting up so I could breathe a little. Yuck! You poor thing!!!