Laffy taffy timey

Where do computers go on Saturday night?

The disc-o.

What gets wet while it dries?

A....towel.

What is yellow and wears a mask?

The lone lemon.

What do astronauts eat for dinner?

Launch meat.

What starts with "T" is full of "T" and ends with "T"?

A tea pot.

Which runs faster, hot or cold?

Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.

What does Christmas have to do with a cat in the desert?

They both have sandy claws.

In France, what do frogs eat?

French flies.

Why did the store close at 2:00?

Because it was Twosday.

How do trees get on the internet?

They log on.

What doesn't get wet the it rains?

The ocean.

What did the window say to the other window?

I am in "pane".

Why did the apple turnover?

Because he got jealous of the jellyroll.

What did the digital clock say to it's mom?

Look mom, no hands.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

What did John do when his dog ate his science book?

He took the words right out of his mouth.

Why did the skunk cross the road?

To get to the odor side.

What did the book say to the page?
Don't turn away from me.

What is a bow that you can't tie?

A rainbow.

What do ghosts like on their roast beef?

Grave-y.

What do you call a mean-tempered horse?

A nightmare.

Which garden has the most vegetables?

Flash garden.

(Boyfriend and I don't get that one...)

Where do fish sleep?

In a water bed.

What is a parasite?

Something you see in Paris.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

How does a farmer mend his plants?

With a cabbage patch.

What knows it's ABC's but can't see anything?

A dictionary.

What did the noodles say to the butter?

Don't try and butter me up.

What are parents that you can see through?

Trans-parents.

What does a bee sit on?

His bee-hind.

What is a "sound" sleeper?

Someone who snores.

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

Because he had no-body to go with him.

What did the little boy tell the game warden?

His dad was in the kitchen poaching eggs.

How do you keep a lion from charging?

You take away his credit card.

What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

Because his mother was in a jam.

Why is it hot in a stadium after a football game?

All the fans have left.

Why is a lost dalmatian easily found?

Because he is always spotted.

Which side of the mug should you put the handle on?

The outside.

What did the wind say to the screen?

Just passing through.

What lake tastes good with french fries?

The Great Salt Lake. 

What do you call a dog in the summer?

A hot dog.

What time was it when the elephant sat on the chair?

Time to get a new chair.

What did the flower say to the bike?

Pedal.

When does it rain money?

When there is a change in the weather.

and last but not least...

Which are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are "week" days.

Now that Boyfriend and I have majorly destroyed about 5,000 brain cells each...we are going to bed.

Night!!!!

**updated with fixed typo errors....I shouldn't be allowed to blog when I'm tired...unfortunately that would mean I never blog...**